here we go

From 2003 to 2012, this site was host to a fairly regularly updated blog, by me, “the buddha is my dj.” By around 2010 I had stopped posting as regularly, and did a long slow fade out trying to figure out what I was up to, what the point of the whole project was. Then I gave up. Then I archived everything on WordPress.

The long slow fade out was the result of a lot of factors (too much of the wrong kind of attention, my decision to focus on my “career” rather than my “hobby,” having a kid, you name it). A couple of years ago, I decided to resurrect the blog. I thought it would be good to have a space where I could wrestle with some thoughts and ideas or research projects I was working on. I tried to post regularly, but nothing came of it beyond the random thought separated by months.

This past August, I was invited to give a “book talk” during which a very kind woman came up to me and said that she was a long-time reader of the old blog and wondered if I was going to write again. I said I’d been thinking about it but nothing had gelled. I’ve got a lot of things going on, work, family, whatever.

I’m done making excuses.

When I tried to resurrect the blog, I randomly chose the tag-line “here we go.” That seems prescient today. We’re living in a new reality. Our president-elect (whom I will only ever refer to as “Horror-Clown”) has dozens of outstanding law suits against him. His vitriolic rhetoric this past year has emboldened the fearful-hate-filled-xeno-homo-phobic-sexist-racists to come out into the light of day. We have dark days ahead and a helluva lot of work to do. Here we go, indeed.

I can no longer be silent. Coincidentally, I’m in a position of authority and security where I can speak my voice, where I can stand with those of less privilege than me and, in some small way, make a goddamn difference.

The blog is back.

If we’re gonna survive the coming doom, we must remember our shared humanity. We need to embrace our differences. We need to have empathy for and with each other. It’s not going to be easy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ignoring our problems, I’m not belittling our mutual animosity, our deeply entrenched racism, or the reality of increased racial and ethnic and religious and sexual violence we’re soon to bare witness to (we are already seeing). I’m not unaware of that. But I still firmly believe that the only way to overcome that is through love. And you can’t love people if you don’t connect with them.

So expect more of me. I’ve been self-censoring for years out of fear of having uncomfortable conversations with friends and relatives and strangers on the internet. Time to let that shit go.

As Maggie Kuhn said, “Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”

So, dear reader, hold me accountable. If I don’t say anything here a week from now, hold me accountable.

(And as something of a post-script, it bares repeating that while I might feel comfortable in my position at the moment, the views and opinions expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone and do not necessarily represent those of my employers, my community, my colleagues, my family, my grocer, my barber (if I needed one), my dentist, or anyone I’ve ever even shared a knwoing glance with on a BART train.)